Honey Heist: a One-Pager TTRPG about BEARS!

Honey Heist is a TTRPG game where you play bears trying to get honey!

We sat at a round table in the 4th floor lobby of the Hyatt Regency Hotel in downtown Minneapolis.

The convention was 2D Con, a small gathering of video game geeks, table top gaming geeks, and local con-goers. After exploring the aisles of arcade cabinets in the ground floor, we were ready to enjoy some board game and table-top.

It was here I presented to my esteemed friends and geek-associates the simple yet elegant PDF printed to several copies on 8 ½ x 11’s which read Honey Heist, a one-page table-top roleplaying game created by Grant Howitt.

            Everyone at the table heard about this game. Critical Role had broadcasted sessions of this game, and a friend of mine spoke fervently about one-page TTRPGs like this one. Its rules were transcribed on a single sheet, with handwritten text and little sketches of bears with an array of hats. Its design was super informal, even quaint, compared to games like it.

The premise was straightforward:

It’s HoneyCon 20xx! You are going to undertake the greatest heist the world has ever seen!

And the rules were simple:

One: You have a complex plan that requires precise timing. … and Two: You are a GODDAMN BEAR!

From here, everything else is down to simple rolls with a 6-sided die, and your imagination!

A Life of Crime as a Bear has its Benefits, ... and its Rules!

Its as easy as you can get when it comes to table-top games. 

In a table-top gaming arena which is filled with compendiums, rule books, attributes, characteristics, monster stat blocks, complex mechanics, and balancing issues… sometimes its as basic as a single sheet of paper, and some acting and improv skills (with a dash of chaos).

That is precisely what I love about Honey Heist as a TTRPG game.

  • Only three things need to be known about you as a bear. Your Descriptor, your Bear Type, and your Role.
    • Descriptor functions as an adjective to describe your general personality.
    • Bear Type identifies what species of bear you are and what skill you know the most.
    • Role grants you a criminal career type and what you bring to the table as an operative.

       

  • Only two stats exist; CRIMINAL and BEAR
    • Both start at 3. … Difficult situations will require rolls from you, and the result will mean you move a point from one to the other depending on your success. … Stray too far as a CRIMINAL, you are lured to a life of crime and betray the party. Stray too far as BEAR, you “flip out bear-style and lose it”, with animal control to arrive soon.
  • The rest is down to the game master. … Is the convention taking place in a Creepy Fishing Village? Or a Busy Metropolitan City?… What is the prize? The Queen of all Bees? Abraham Lincolns beehive?… What security features are in the way? Cameras and laser grids? … Who is the convention organizer, and what tricks do they have up their sleeve?

What a typical run might look like!

When I first ran Honey Heist at that table, we followed the rules as written to establish everyone is bear, the site of the convention, and the obstacles to the heist. Naturally, human beings have a tendency to run away from bears upon first sight, but the game assumes, in almost cartoonish fashion, that your troupe of bears pass off as humans who can bearly (pun alert!) get by through mangled speech and bare (again) social etiquette.

In a lakeside camp, with the convention surrounding the entirety of the lake, our convention organizer was a ruthless and corrupt business owner who dressed up as a pirate and sailed around the lake in an old wooden ship. A series of secure vaults existed on each side of the lake, with armored truck moving the kidnapped Queen Bee from spot to spot, with several decoys. Cameras and security guards were everywhere.

The bears slipped in, scouting the area, and seeking a way to break into one of the CCTV stations to get an eye on everything. One bear began speaking Shakespeare to a bunch of passer-bys, drawing in a couple of the guards. The hacker honey badger slipped in, and began to feed the cameras directly to his device. The other two bears hatched a plan to root out which truck was the real one by getting one of the security guards drunk.

Little did they realize until an attempt to steal a truck and an alarm sounded that the Queen Bee was on the ship the entire time!

Double-cross!

Play the Game Yourself (or watch some Gameplay)!

I could tell you how the story ends from here, but that would ruin the fun! The key question is, if you and your bear friends were in this position, what would be your next step? And what would you plan on doing once the game master begins dropping new challenges your way?

With its simple yet fun design, Honey Heist is easily one of my favorite quick TTRPGs to run. It’s a game full of potential, combining heist movie tropes, action-packed moments, comic relief, and pure chaos!

You can grab a copy for free from Itch.io (though, I’d recommend donating some bucks for the creator):

https://gshowitt.itch.io/honey-heist

It was streamed this year on my Twitch channel, and contained a whole batch of hilarious moments. Feel free to check out the video-on-demand here to see a quick compilation of moments.

In this session of Honey Heist, with BlackManInc, Masters8, and CMassEffect, our squad of bears travel to the navy pier in Chicago for HoneyCon to confront a convention owner called the “Ringmattster”. Using a virtual table top and a barrage of hilarious stock photos, we pulled off an entertaining venture to free (again) the Queen of Bees!


Even bears enjoy pulling off some shenanigans every now and then!
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About the author

Avid geek, amateur historian, long time tabletop game master, content creator, and storytelling enthusiast. Matthew is a Augsburg University grad with a focused passion on fantastical storyworlds. He is also a musician, improv actor, live streamer, and proud favorite uncle. If you would like to know more, contact him, OR follow him on social media!
Chaotican Writer